Thoughts create Feelings
Simply put… your thoughts are the MEANING you give to your circumstances.
These are the thoughts you think about xyz and the STORIES you tell yourself (whether they are true or not).
We have been trained to notice how we feel and then create thoughts around that…
This is backward.
Your thoughts are what CREATE YOUR FEELINGS, so if you are wondering why you are feeling a certain way – look at what stories you’ve been telling yourself and the thoughts you are entertaining (good or bad).
The thoughts you have about any circumstance decides whether you will be happy/sad, excited/upset, etc.
Your thoughts are SUBJECTIVE and come from your past experiences (good or bad).
Your past experiences often shape your perspective, and thus your thoughts are your PERSPECTIVE also.
This is great when you surround yourself with like-minded people.
However, it is often the cause of conflict and heartache when people don’t agree with you.
And did you know…
Your thoughts are OPTIONAL!
You can keep any thoughts you’d like and change any thought you don’t like.
If you are feeling bad about a circumstance, you don’t have to keep feeling that…
You can decide to change your thinking and start feeling good anytime you’d like.
This may feel impossible.
It takes practice and effort (like writing down your current model and examining where all the drama is coming from).
Practice noticing your thoughts by taking the time to write them down. This slows your brain down and causes it to NOTICE what you are creating in your life. Do you like it? What would you like to change?
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Feelings Drive Actions
First, your feelings are created by your thoughts (NOT your circumstances, period!)
In the model, you should put ONE word on the feeling line!
“I feel like they don’t like me,” is a thought (not a feeling).
“Lonely” is the feeling. Practice noticing the ONE word feelings you have.
Your feelings are what DRIVE YOUR BEHAVIORS…
“Anger” causes you to yell at your kids (so does stress).
“Overwhelm” causes you to procrastinate, delay, or do nothing.
“Resentment” causes you to glare, not communicate, or avoid someone.
On the flip side, however…
“Gratitude” causes you to be content, smile, and relax.
“Excitement” causes you to act and empower others.
“Confidence” causes you to stand in your power and love yourself just as you are.
(notice again, these are all ONE word feelings)
Empowering emotions/feelings drive our most effective actions, and they feel good!
However, there is a safe place in our life for negative emotions also.
Negative emotions help guide our actions, and often act as a compass when used appropriately.
The goal is not to avoid feeling negative emotions, but to manage all our feelings (good and bad) in safe and healthy ways.
