Emotions Drive our Actions
Have you ever noticed when you feel happy and productive you get more done?
And when you’re grumpy or upset you get less done?
Even if today was pretty much the same as yesterday?
That is because, how you feel, drives your actions!
Stop! and think about this for a minute… slow down your reading and answer these questions…
How do you act when you are overwhelmed?
How do you act when you feel confident?
How do you act when you feel peaceful?
How do you act when you feel afraid?
Whatever your answers were… it’s okay! No judgment! Fascinating isn’t it?
Is it any wonder your kids get their homework done faster when they are feeling confident… I wonder if you could give them encouraging words instead of discouraging words- would that help?
Does your teenager make better choices when you smile and laugh with them instead of snear and question them?
Does your husband want to help out around the house when you ask with a smile? Or when you jab at him?
I often ask myself, “What emotion am I choosing to…” do the dishes, help my kids do their homework, talk with my teenager, and communicate with my husband?
And … “Am I okay with that?”
Sometimes the emotion I pick works, sometimes it doesn’t –that’s okay – I’m learning! So are you!
The next couple days, ask yourself, “How am I feeling?” and then watch your actions…
Don’t worry if they were nice actions or not so nice actions… and don’t beat yourself up about it. Just be aware…
You’re learning a new skill… a muscle that needs to be worked out. It might be sore at first. I’ll help you strengthen it if you stay plugged into these posts and “do the work.”
ONE Word
Emotions are usually ONE word.
Happy, confident, angry, resentful, curious, peaceful, etc.
Generally if you have described how you “feel” in a sentence or a paragraph, you are looking at your thoughts. I call this a thought download.
If you can name your emotion, but aren’t sure why you feel this way – work on recognizing the sentences in your head…
Because … your emotions are caused by “a sentence in your head.”
Some of us are more aware of our thoughts and some of us are more aware of our feelings – whichever is easier for you is just fine! One comes from your head and one comes from your heart, both are important.
“My son always leaves his clothes on the floor” is the sentence, “frustration” is the emotion I feel when I find them there unfolded-again.
“I can’t believe my teenager yells at me” is a sentence/phrase, “angry” or “hurt” are the emotions when this happens.
“My kids are so snuggly” is the sentence, “loved” is the emotion when we snuggle.
Manage not Control
Hopefully you are getting some good practice and becoming aware of your emotions.
I’m excited to share some helpful tips and techniques to manage those emotions you’ve decided you don’t like or are not serving you. But first…
People like to use the phrase “Control your emotions” – meaning “stop them in their tracks.” I would like to offer you a different phrase, a gentler phrase…
“Manage your emotions”
Emotions cannot be controlled (or stopped) any more than a river can be stopped from running downstream or down a winding path, however it can be redirected with some effort.
Either way the water continues to flow – and so do your emotions.
Since we have all been gifted with emotions, let’s learn to manage them in “safe and healthy” ways. Gently and lovingly!
I’m excited to share some tools with you, and share some stories that, I hope, inspire you to try out and discover your favorite emotional management techniques.