ANXIETY is used to describe many other emotions people might be feeling.
The truth is, anxiety is a secondary emotion. This means it’s the result of resisting or avoiding feeling other emotions.
Here are some other EMOTIONS you might be feeling that are often described as ANXIETY…
Stress, fear, and overwhelm
Indecision, impatience, and confusion
Disappointment, frustration, and annoyance
Sadness, uncertainty, and loneliness
Embarrassment, distrust, jealousy
Doubt, hurt, insecurity
Do any of these describe what you are feeling a little better than… just plain ANXIETY?
Often these are subtle emotions, and when we RESIST feeling them, it turns into anxiety.
Sometimes we find we have created a habit, the body has memorized, that takes you from one of these other emotions and straight into anxiety.
Let’s give some of the common examples of emotions we AVOID or RESIST, that lead to anxiety…
And give you some tips on how to work through those emotions.
Just a reminder, I am addressing anxiety from MY area of expertise. If your experience with anxiety is coming from other means, please take care and get the help you need.
My hope is this will be extra help to you.
Recognizing the primary emotion you are feeling and allow it, in healthy ways, can help you re-train you brain and body to not go straight into ANXIETY!
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Anxiety from Overwhelm
Recently I talked with a friend who described all the “things” she was doing… and all the ways she wasn’t managing all the “things” very well…
In her tale I heard an underlying thread come up over and over again…
“I don’t have time. I have too much to do, and it’s affecting my relationships and my ability to cope with life.”
Basically- help I’m OVERWHELMED!!!
What was my advice…
- Make a list of all the “things”
2. Prioritize the “things” by writing a number 1 by the most important, etc. Then start with number 1.
In my friend’s case #1 would take all day (that’s okay). #2 she scheduled a chunk of time that week to work on it, etc.
3. In each task, STAY PRESENT!
This can be so hard to do when you feel overwhelmed, because all the “things” are screaming at you and they all seem to be equally important.
I like to tell my brain, “YES- I realize you are important and I have a time set aside specifically to work on you… be patient, your turn is coming.” Then I set it aside again.
4. Look for the good!
A couple times a day take a minute to recognize the good things in your life.
This reassures your brain that life is working just fine and encourages you to keep going.
One of my friend’s tasks was to make a very tricky cookie that needed to look perfect. She had tried multiple times to do them, but they weren’t turning out.
When she employed these steps I got a text that said, ‘STAY PRESENT!’
Along with a picture of the PERFECT cookie! Success!!
OVERWHELM unchecked can lead to feeling anxious, and the result is often – DO NOTHING! Causing more anxiety and stress… maybe even illness and fatigue.
It’s better to recognize that you are feeling overwhelmed, and make a plan to move forward at a steady pace. Looking for the good along the way and realizing you have the time and the tools you need right now.
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For many years I had the privilege of working with some of the most talented children and youth I’ve ever met!
I created props and painted the sets for the children’s musical theater, AND I got to help backstage during the last practices and performances – so fun!
Every year we had a handful of kids and teens who experienced anxiety just before or during a performance – totally normal.
What were these kids primary emotions though…
Some of them were AFRAID… naturally! Even though they had practiced all summer long, and were totally prepared, they were still nervous and afraid. If you are unpracticed at managing fear this can cause anxiety.
Some of them were OVER STIMULATED… During the times the kids were not on stage they were lumped together in a holding room and it got VERY noisy and chaotic. This was stressful for some of our more sensitive children and caused anxiety.
Some of them were CONFUSED … Trying to figure out where 200 kids and teens should be at every moment was very confusing, and they would get turned around or on the wrong side of the stage causing anxiety.
Time and time again I had the privilege of discovering what the primary emotion was that trigger the anxiety. Then I would address the primary emotion. Often times they just needed a quiet room where they could think, relax, and breath. Sometimes they needed someone to talk to for a minute, encourage them, tell them its okay they are feeling the way they are, etc.
Giving them a safe space to manage those primary emotions was usually all it took; and before long they were back on stage being amazing!
Maybe some of these ideas will get you started about what triggers your anxiety, and hopefully give you hope and the extra help you need to understand your situation. Try it!
–Give people a safe space to process. If you need someone to do this for you, I’ve got you! Go HERE for a FREE 30 minute mini session.