This last week we have been doing some construction and maintenance in our kids bedrooms. As a result, my house is a disaster. All of the furniture, bins, and even the shelving in the kids closet (along with the toys) has been removed from their rooms and is occupying nooks and crannies in the other parts of my home. I have a two foot square to walk in, in my office, our living room has been reduced to a three foot walkway, and my bedroom walls are lined with what’s left. It’s complete chaos!!!
I find myself wandering around the house, a bit lost, forgetting what I was doing, because of the mess around every corner. I keep getting distracted because nothing is in its place and I am struggling to focus on anything.
How does this relate to our inner world and our minds?
If you want to create a more functional space in a closet, it first requires you to create chaos of the existing space. For example, if you want to replace the plastic removable shelves in the closet with permanent ones you need to remove the contents of the closet first. This often involves dejunking; letting go of old things and creating space for the new things in your life. This creates a mess and is a bit chaotic.
As you build shelves and reorganize the space you feel better and are pleased with the new order you have created. It’s an upgrade from the last closet system. Soon everything is in its new place, organized, clean and ready to serve you better. You feel accomplished and happier!
Thought work is much the same. Our “mind closet” needs an upgrade once in a while. The old system of belief patterns and thoughts are not likely to be serving you the way they once did. It’s time to dejunk and upgrade the system. As you do this, it feels a bit chaotic in your brain. It’s just fine and very normal to feel this way when doing thought work, so be kind to yourself. The more you do it, the less chaotic it will feel – it just takes practice. When you are willing to do the thought upgrades you feel better and have a better life!
I like to think of thought work as something you do a little bit everyday-like making your bed or doing the dishes. Occasionally, it’s good to take on a bigger project, like cleaning out the dresser once a year or deep cleaning your kitchen cupboards. This type of thought work takes more time, effort, and energy, but the result is a happier life. It’s amazing!
I would not recommend starting out with a huge project, like gutting your kids bedrooms-lol. Just start small, like one shelf in the closet. In your “mind closet,” pick and area in one relationship you’d like to improve. Don’t worry about everything else in your “mind closet” that is calling for your attention. Work on one shelf at a time.
This might look like, improving the way you show gratitude to your spouse, or being more present with your children. It may be finding ways to show yourself love, so you can show up better at home. Notice I did not say, “Have a better relationship with my teenager,” that is a whole closet, filled with shelves. Pick a smaller goal, like, “be a better listener when my teenager speaks.” As you work on each shelf, your relationships will improve.
As you do this, you may feel a bit chaotic; or that something is against your normal. You may resist or avoid the change because it’s not comfortable or familiar to you. Instead of being uncertain about it, KNOW you will feel a bit of chaos. It’s normal! In fact, it’s part of the process and you are in the right space. It won’t last forever and you will be better for it.
As you gain new knowledge and information to help upgrade the belief systems of your mind, you will recognize other areas you could clean out and improve. Again, don’t be bothered by the chaos you may feel. It’s normal! Keep improving your relationships a little bit at a time and your life will become better and happier!
Good luck in your personal projects and life,
PS In the comments share the relationship “shelf” you are working on to help give the rest of us ideas.