Your “definition of a good mom…” (referring to the blog “Definition of Motherhood”)
… will help you to NOT compare yourself to other mom’s.
And when you get all mixed up in your head, you’ll have something solid to come back to.
Look… there is always a mom who has a cleaner home, or deals with screaming children better, or has more obedient children, or… or… or…
If you find yourself doing this, revisit YOUR definition (that’s why we wrote it down).
How are you doing?
Is there an area you’d like to improve? If so, at least it’s coming from YOU wanting to improve, instead of feeling like you aren’t good enough.
You wanting to improve, will motivate you and help you feel determined to work towards being better.
You trying to keep up with another mom will cause disappointment, frustration, overwhelm and resentment—you lose every time.
I can’t stress this enough… if you find you are comparing yourself to someone else – notice it! Then refocus your brain on YOUR definition… and don’t forget to keep noticing the good things you are doing along the way.
–If you’d like help setting these kinds of goals, message me. I have a FREE mini course you’ll love. If you message me I can send you the link to get started.
Watch out for perfection!
Don’t get me wrong, doing things right and doing a good job is so good…
But perfection in motherhood is like chasing a goal post that keeps moving around, or further down the track.
Your children grow from toddlers, to kids, to teens, then young adults…
Your definition of a “good mom,” shifts and changes as you grow and your kids grow.
At first you manage everything: to what they eat, who they play with, and what time they go to bed. Eventually, they manage that more than you do and you get to learn how to “let go” and “trust them.”
How does a “good mom” do that? Huh-something to think about.
(If you’re not in this stage yet – don’t worry about it either, as you work on being the best mom to your kids now, you’ll gain the skills to adapt as they grow).
Your definition of a “good mom” is better if it is fluid, flowing, and flexible. It’s adaptable to different children, ages, and circumstances.
A “good mom” at home, looks different than a “good mom” on vacation… see my point.
There is not perfection here (sorry you amazing perfectionists out there)…
However, you can always work on perfecting your approach, by improving each day.
Progress is a better approach.
–If you struggle with perfection or comparison, message me. I can help you see what you’re thinking that is causing you to stay stuck in this perfection and comparison trap and I can help you take simple steps to help you change it. Message me.