I was jumping on my trampoline when I noticed some gentlemen cutting down some large trees in a neighboring yard. As I jumped, and watched, I noticed how they started cutting branches from the top and worked their way down to the trunk; and eventually to the base of the tree.
I reminded me of a chapter I read once, called “How to Break the Worry Habit.”*
The author described the process of cutting down an old, dead tree at his farm similar to the process I was watching. The author then related it to our human nature to worry, saying,
“The vast tree of worry which over long years has grown up in your personality can best be handled by making it as small as possible. Thus it is advisable to snip off the little worries and expressions of worry. For example, reduce the number of worry words in your conversation. Words may be the result of worry, but they also create worry. When a worry thought comes to mind, immediately remove it with a faith thought and expression.”
Recently I’ve been reading another book.** This author suggests that we have an ‘addiction to worry,’ and that somehow we think it is useful. However, what it really does is ‘choke the flow of positive energy’ in our lives.
Let’s see… I’ve been nurturing this worry tree for a lifetime now… It’s strong and sturdy. It has taken a lot of time and energy to grow this tree. Do I really want to take it down?
I was talking to my mom the other day about this. She worried about everything for years. She told me, “I’ve learned that worry is a waste of time and energy. There is no benefit from it. I don’t worry about things anymore.” And the truth is… she doesn’t! She gets more done and has more energy to do things she enjoys.
So, how do we take down the worry tree?
The first author suggests, “Emptying the mind daily,” and replacing fear based (worry based) thoughts with faith based thoughts.* (pg 118-119)
The second author gives a step-by-step way of doing this process, allowing you to feel more positive feelings in your life.** (pg71)
This is how I do it…
Step 1: Notice that I feel worried about something.
Step 2: Allow myself to feel the worry in my body. Describe it. Sit in it (for just a few minutes-not wallow in it).
Step 3: Get curious why I am feeling worried, which helps me discover the thought(s) that create this worry feeling.
Step 4: Let it go, and shift my focus away from the worry thoughts.
Step 5: If the worrying continues I then look at the thoughts more and decide if I want to keep them or if I’m willing to make the change to a new thought pattern or belief.
Step 6: If the answer is “change them,” I look for a positive based thought that I can use to replace the worry thoughts.
As I worked on new statements to take me out of the worry habit, one word seemed to show up in most of my statements. That word was/is…
TRUST
I trust my husband to…
I trust my teenager to…
I trust I will …
I trust the universe will …
I trust my Savior …
Why? Because if we trusted our husbands to show up as who they are, instead of who we think they should be, we wouldn’t be worried about them.
If we trusted the universe to bless us in its perfect way, we wouldn’t be worried about our circumstances.
If we trusted our kids and teenagers to be their best selves (which allows for them to mess up sometimes), we wouldn’t feel the need to control or micro manage them.
If we trusted ourselves to do our best (allowing for being human) we would love and forgive ourselves more often.
If we trusted our Savior to love us and cheer us on, no matter what, we would realize that what we are experiencing is all part of our journey.
Trust can go a long way to cutting down the worry tree!
Of course, this takes time. So be patient with yourself as you work towards cutting down the worry tree.
Other limbs will want to grown stronger, to balance out the tree. For example, if you stop worrying about your husband you might find you worry about your teenager more. If this happens, it’s okay.
You’re conditioned for a certain amount of worry in your life. If you start to cut pieces away, it’ll want to show up in other ways, until you change the amount of worry you’re willing to engage in daily.
I did a video lesson on this in my Facebook group “Women Creating Zion Homes.” Join the group to access the video HERE.
During this time of social distancing, maybe it’s time we did some ‘worry tree’ maintenance in our thoughts. I hope these ideas gave you a good place to get started. I’d love to hear your comments below.
PS If you are struggling with this process sign up for a FREE 20-minute mini session HERE and I’ll help you out!
*”The Power of Positive Thinking,” by Norman Vincent Peale; pages 115-126.
**”The Big Leap,” by Gay Hendricks; pages 64-75.