We are creatures of HABIT!
Habit’s make it easy to go through life each day without taking too much brain power.
And it preserves our energy!
So we can accomplish more and respond to situations with compassion.
Successful mom’s (than includes working moms, stay-at-home moms, homeschool moms, etc.) have habits that help them get through their day with little resistance and healthy responses to deal with crazy children. (wink)
Hurray for habits!
EXCEPT…
When there is a habit you’d like to change, or get rid of all together.
When my kids were younger… I yelled at them a lot…
And I hated myself for it.
This was not the mom I wanted to be or imagined I’d be.
The pain was too much, I had to ‘change my yelling habit.’
I took deep breaths, hot baths, set rules/boundaries, pretended, and LOST every time!
I didn’t matter what I tried – I still found myself yelling again, and again, and again.
I was so frustrated and angry with myself.
I was overwhelmed and drowning in guilt.
I prayed over and over for relief and change.
One day, I went to a mindset conference… and they taught us “the 4 step process of change…”
Light bulbs went on in my head and I realized WHY I was stuck in my yelling habit…
Later, I would learn what I needed to do to overcome this bad habit…
But UNDERSTANDING this process helped me keep HOPE and FAITH, even when I didn’t see any change…
I knew which stage I was in and why I was feeling this way…
I didn’t need to beat myself up anymore even though I was still failing a lot…
I understood where I was, and was able to love myself THROUGH the process…
And things started to change…
When I share this process, people are so excited about what they are learning – it makes perfect sense!
Then I warn them…
“As you try to do something different than you’ve always done, will feel resistance –”
It’s okay!
It’s normal…
Then I teach them about THE PROCESS OF CHANGE…
This process helps them see “why they feel the way they do”
Why some parts are so HARD?
Why it takes so much effort?
Why they can’t get to the part where it’s natural and easy, immediately?
And why they give up and just go back to their old ways; feeling stuck and defeated.
–Have you ever felt this way? Would you like to know why you try and fail, over and over? Would you like some HOPE?
In the next blog post I’ll share the 4 stages of Change and you’ll begin to understand why changing takes practice.
Can you relate to my story? Would you like some help? I’m here for you. I’ve been there to… it’s worth the “change.” If you want more information on how to improve your relationships, join my Love Your Relationships coaching program and watch your relationships heal, flourish, and bloom.