I am a loving believer in the amazingness of teenagers! They are awesome! But today, I am experiencing the opposite side of amazing. Teenagers are also hard. They don’t listen as well when they have their own life plans and own ideas in their head and are stubborn about it.
But, wait, I’m stubborn to. I have ideas of how I think life should be (and I think my teenager should respond). My teeanger is messing with my plans, just as I am messing with his.
(Sigh) He is not so different than me.
I am irritated with my teenager right now. I asked him to please get his part of the bathroom cleaned (for the third day), and he huffed off to do the task. I asked him to spend quality time with our family and he ignored my request. I asked that he go to an event with his dad and sisters, to serve in the church, and he is grumpy and snapping at everyone.
I just want him to be cooperative and happy, but he’s not. I’m sad about that. Being a life coach, doesn’t mean life is always amazing. I still feel sadness, disappointment, and frustration. I still have to look at my thoughts and allow negative emotions to flow.
Right now… I’m sad. I don’t like feeling sad, but I am willing to feel it. I’m not happy about my teenagers reactions to things and I still expect him to do his part. Be he has a choice on how he will do them. He can do his chores out of gratitude, have fun with his family, and serve out of love, but he’s not today. I love him anyway.
His reactions are not ideal and they have an effect on me. It causes me to reflect on my own beliefs. Should he be happy, cooperative, and loving all the time? Am I this way all the time? No, I’m not always happy. Sometimes, I am grumpy, uncooperative and annoyed. I guess he can have those days to.
This is when I am reminded to “let go” and allow the emotions to flow. To let the tears fall down my face and embrace feeling sad. I can do sad, I can allow it. I am reminded that I was created to experience all emotions. Emotions are part of life and when I resist them, it just gets worse and creates resentment also.
When I allow sadness to wash over me, the intensity of it fades and I don’t feel it crushing my heart so much. I “let go” of my ideal life and take this moment as it is, not ideal. And realize I still have a good life, anyway.
As I sit in my thoughts I realize my teenager and I are much the same. I begin to feel compassion and understanding for him and that generates feelings of love.
I’m sorry he’s grumpy, but I love him anyway. Yes, he needs to accomplish these tasks and I have hope that on another day he’ll choose to do them with a willing heart. I forgive him for being grumpy today, because I love him. Even if he continues to be grumpy. I still believe in my teenagers goodness.
I love myself, even when I am sad. I know I am a good mom, even when it hurts. I am not alone.
These are the times when I place the situation in the Savior’s hands and ask His Atonement to take over. To allow the Savior to teach my son whatever lessons he needs to learn, and to be humble enough to learn the lessons I need to learn. To trust, that even when it’s not ideal, it’s still okay. Let it go, let the Savior do the teaching and heal your heart.
From my teenage mommy heart to yours – you are not alone! Love you,
Sharina
The teen years are exciting and fun, but they can be rough. If you want help dealing with these amazing and tough years, I’ve got you! Schedule a 15-minute mini session here.