Physical Activity Story
It’s time for some stories…
My oldest son is a playful kid.
But sometimes the “feeling” of his playfulness changes. It looks playful on the surface, but underneath it feels like irritated jabbing with a smile.
When he was about 12, I started noticing this “jabbing with a smile” and I got curious about it.
I watched for a while as he interacted with his siblings and realized, “this is how he hides negative emotion.” Huh, but it still comes out, subtly, and the other kids can feel it – they just don’t think he’s as funny or they become irritated with him.
I wondered what I could suggest that might help him dump this excess negative emotion NOT on the family.
The spirit reminded me, “He likes to be physically active.”
So I said to him, “you seem annoyed and I wondered if you’d enjoy a bike ride to let it go.”
He jumped on the opportunity. I even gave him permission to drive out of the neighborhood and to the park where a bike trail was.
When he got back, 45 minutes later – he was new kid. He seemed lighter and happier.
He was still his playful, teasing self, but the jabs were gone and the kids had fun together again.
Since then, whenever he’s irritated, angry, frustrated or overwhelmed he gets active or I offer him an opportunity to get active. Recently he’s been doing a lot of rock climbing.
The best part is he’s happier when he gets back (we all love that).
Safe and healthy tip #1: try some physical activity that suits your likes, interests, and personality. Offer this to your children or spouse giving them permission to “feel” in safe and healthy ways.
Talk to a Tree
I have another daughter who is a talker, singer, teacher, and leader.
When she is full of negative emotion she yells, bosses people around, argues back, and gives that sassy expression with the big eyes and cocked head.
One day, I realized SHE needed to “express herself to someone/thing” often, to get her thoughts/emotions out of her.
Of course, I don’t want to be the one to listen to her ranting and railing. Yuck! There had to be a better way.
The spirit said, “Nature doesn’t mind if you yell at it.”
The next time she had a come apart – I sent her outside to talk to the tree in our back yard. I told her she had permission to yell at it, talk back to it, argue, be sad, anything she wanted. I told her I wouldn’t listen or let anyone else go back there for as long as she needed.
At first she was timid about it, just sitting by the tree. Before long I noticed she was talking animatedly and waving her arms around. She bounced from expressions of anger and annoyance to smiling and laughing, as the tree just listened and loved her, completely unharmed.
I have no idea what she said – but I do know, she came back inside bubbly, bouncy and her happy self again.
For years this has helped her feel better. She still drags our hammock swing out to the apple tree and talks to it, but most recently she has discovered that going for rides on her new 4 wheeler also helps her.
Have a Good Cry
I have another daughter who is just a sweetheart.
You’d think she never gets mad, annoyed, frustrated or overwhelmed…
But she does sometimes.
It takes more time for these things to build up inside her than some of my other kids.
But when she is snappy (which is not often), I know something is up and she’s full of emotion.
Usually I just ask her a few questions, guided by the spirit, “How was your day? You seem upset? How are things with your friends?”
At first she looks confused (not recognizing her sadness or irritation), but once she notices it – the flood gate of tears opens right up.
All I have to do is hand her a box of tissues and fill the space with love. Sometimes she’ll let me hold her. She cries crocodile tears for a few minutes with great heaving sobs. The tears lesson after a few minutes and she lets out a sigh of relief.
Sometimes she knows what it was about, other times she has no idea.
But she feels so much better, and her peaceful, loving smile returns.