Looking at the negative:
Often our thoughts and feelings come from our PAST experiences.
Something happens, an experience or something that was said, that triggers thoughts and feelings from our PAST!
When these thoughts and feelings are negative, writing is a healthy way to release them.
It helps you SEE the struggle, validate the feelings, and move past it in a more positive way.
Expressing your anger or frustration on paper often keeps you from lashing out at family or friends, because you had a safe outlet to express them in.
TIP 1: I usually write negative things in a spiral bound journal or easy tear out and throw away type paper. I don’t tend to keep these writings, for later reading.
Tool 1: Little Voice Management
STEP 1: Fold a piece of paper in half and write your negative thoughts on one side.
STEP 2: Then flip it over and write the POSITIVE OPPOSITE on the other side.
This shows your brain you are looking for negative thoughts, for the purpose of practicing improving them. This helps us learn and grow.
It also teaches you to forgive yourself on your way to BECOMING a better you!
Yes, you see the negative (the not fun part), but you also gain more confidence in your ability to create and choose a more positive outlook. This is freeing and healing!
Negative Thought Dump:
Sometimes our negative emotions are VERY INTENSE and just need a safe outlet to release the pressure.
Tool 2: Negative Thought Dump
STEP 1: Write anything and everything that comes to mind (especially helpful in moments of intense anger, frustration and resentment).
STEP 2: Let it go (throw it away, burn it, etc.)
STEP 3: Forgive yourself for thinking/feeling that way. (Forgive anyone else you may need to also).
Like a full glass of water that starts spilling over the sides… sometimes we become FULL of negative emotions also. Writing helps relieve the pressure, spilling it over the sides, instead of spatting it at others.
This is my ‘go to’ when I want to scream, yell, or throw something. I just shut myself up in a room, or go for drive and fume on my paper (or coupon or napkin, whatever is available). Then I sit quietly and breath, as I let it go and forgive myself –grateful I didn’t yell at anyone.
TIP 2: writing negative thoughts can send you into a ‘woe is me’ type state, wallowing in despair and self pity. This is NOT the intended purpose of this type of writing! The key here is to OBSERVE YOUR THOUGHTS WITHOUT JUDGMENT and may take some practice. I like to think, “That’s interesting,” or
“Thank you brain for sharing your thoughts with me.” This keeps me in a state of curiosity, wondering what led me to think or feel that way.
I also like to remember, “Of course I have negative thoughts and feelings – that doesn’t make me a bad person.” It makes me HUMAN J
–DON’T FORGET à to Let it go! And to Forgive yourself! It doesn’t work without those two parts! Sit as long as you need to while you let go and forgive. It’s good practice and healing.
Thought Models:
My favorite tool to help me learn from my past is through a…
Tool 3: THOUGHT MODEL
STEP 1: write a paragraph or so about what you think and feel in your situation
STEP 2: decide what the ‘circumstances,’ ‘thoughts,’ ‘feelings,’ and ‘actions’ are and write them in the model…
Circumstance:
Thought:
Feeling:
Action:
Result:
STEP 3: decide what I want to do with this information… keep my thoughts, work on changing them, or sometimes just be aware that they are there and observe them.
–To learn more about this thought model, join my FREE facebook group “Women Creating Zion Homes.” Then look in the ‘files’ section for a video on how to use ‘the model.’
