Feeling like you belong is YOUR CHOICE
Our culture has taught us that “belonging” is something outside of our control.
We spend most of our time teaching our children and the YW to reach out, invite others, care for them, etc…
As if it was the their responsibility to cause others to “feel like they belong.”
This is false.
In fact, this often becomes a great burden on them, because they “don’t know what to do.” And “everything they try isn’t working.”
And when their efforts to invite others, or be friendly to someone, go unnoticed they get discouraged and think it’s their fault. They lose momentum and stop making the effort.
They wonder if they aren’t doing it right, or aren’t doing enough, because if they were doing enough that person would feel like they belonged…. Right?
Here’s the truth…
Belonging is something we individually CHOOSE for ourselves.
Feeling like you belong, is exactly that – a FEELING!
And what you “feel” is within YOUR control, not someone else’s.
What you “feel” comes from what you are “thinking.”
No matter how much time and effort others put into helping you feel included, you will NEVER feel included until YOU decide YOU WANT to feel included.
So… do you want to belong?
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Even though causing others to feel like they belong is not in our control…
Doesn’t mean we shouldn’t teach how to influence others in loving ways. We totally should!
But let’s teach the YW that THEIR job is to love, invite, and do whatever they feel prompted to do to care for others who might need them.
Let’s teach them to be happy in their willingness to try, and not have their success tied to whether or not the other person responded the way they hoped they would.
Some people need years of fellowshipping before they finally decide to belong.
If the YW show up, with love, they have done their part and can find peace and joy, whether or not their efforts were accepted.
If we meet people where they are, with love, and offer whatever it is we can… we can be assured THAT IS ENOUGH.
Remember: It is the spirit’s job to change a willing heart, not ours.
This is important because it helps us not become weary in well doing.
In other words, we will keep showing up and keep trying because that is who WE are… even if they don’t ever accept that offering.
So, if your children or YW ever feel discouraged, remind them of the good they are doing and encourage them to keep going because that is who THEY want to be, despite other’s choices.
And that the choice of other’s is NOT a reflection of how well they are doing in their ministering efforts.
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Let’s go back to my question…
Do you want to belong?
Do you want to belong to that YW group? Do you want to belong with those who are growing their relationship with the Savior? Do you want to make the effort to connect with them?
Here’s the truth—you will find what you are looking for…
So if you’re looking for excuses to not belong with that YW group, or not go to seminary, or not attend church… you’ll find them.
If your primary focus is to belong to other groups or activities not centered on the Savior, Jesus Christ… you will find them.
There are so many excuses, and opportunities to NOT choose the Savior today – it’s heartbreaking!
So before you make that choice, let me remind you of the eternal plan…
If you believe that you lived before you came to this earth, were meant to come to this earth to choose Christ and have experiences that helped you learn and grow, and will someday return to His presence with all that learning…
Is your choice to NOT belong with the YW or in seminary, or whatever it is… going to get you to that eternal goal?
Do the people you want to belong with lead you to develop a closer relationship with Christ or distract you from Him?
See, our eternal perspective, and knowledge of the plan of salvation, helps guide our choices.
It might be fun to join THAT group (everyone is doing it). But will it keep you on the path to more relationship with Christ?
We are so easily influenced by the next shiny object, or the latest youth group think, or our “friends” need us there, etc.
Let’s ask ourselves, does this lead me closer to Christ?
I’m not saying that being on a team, a drama group, going to work, or having discussions with those who are struggling are wrong choices…
Please, do those things, develop those skills; we love to support you and encourage your growth…
But be aware… are they becoming your excuse to not attend YW frequently? Are they creating a chip on your shoulder that is causing you to step further away from those places that would otherwise lead you closer to Christ?
Only you can answer that. The Lord knows your heart.
And if you are struggling, repent (meaning choose to change your thinking so your behaviors will bring you back to Christ).
