Summer is here and the transition from kids at school all day, to kids at home all day, has begun. Like so many moms I talk to, this transition is a struggle for me too!
I was pondering what I was going to do a few weeks before school got out and already I was feeling anxious and overwhelmed. I keep trying to stick with my in school structure and schedule, but I knew I’d five energetic bodies disrupting that schedule by being home all day. Already I was frustrated.
Here’s the problem. The emotions of anxiety, frustration and overwhelm cause conflict between my kids and I, and I dread the first weeks of summer. I turn into the “mommy beast” which then adds mom guilt to the list of negative emotions.
I did not want to go through this again! So… knowing that my feelings are coming from my thoughts, I started watching my thoughts around this transition.
- Get your chores done before you play.
- No more quiet time to think…on know!
- How am I going to keep up with work, home, mom duties, etc?
- I just want to play to.
- When am I going to find time to work on my business now?
As I watched my thoughts the next few days I decided to experiment with some new ideas this year. I did not know how they would turn out exactly and I gave myself permission to be okay with successes and failures. Besides, I could always try again next year- till I get it right. Right?
Here are the lessons I have learned, and school has only been out for 10 days.
Lesson 1:
Instead of planning everything in advance and trying to get the schools out, let’s play energy under control this year. I decided to join my kid’s playful energy and go with the flow, trusting it would work out just as it should. I gave myself permission to “play before I worked.”
Most of us have “work before you play” programmed into our brains from childhood and for good reason. I certainly wouldn’t have ever gotten my chores done if I was allowed to play first as a child. But now that I’m more grown up (wink) I have a sense of responsibility and I will for sure get them done in a timely manner. So…
I played before I worked each morning, to see if it made my transition into summer easier. A funny thing has happened. I enjoy my mornings with my kids and by afternoon I was MORE motivated and eager to work. I have even been working more efficiently. Curious!
Lesson 2:
I also thought about the energy my kids bring home the last day of school. “Schools out! Party time! No homework! Celebration! I began to wonder, “what if I joined them in celebrating, instead of resisting the lack of structure… just for a week?” So I gave myself permission to celebrate the first week of summer vacation with my kids, with hardly any structure to each day (gasp)!
The result has been a very fun week!
As the week has gone by, my kid’s energy has softened. They are still excited to be out of school, but they are seeking structure in their lives again. The different, but still workable, structure of summer schedules.
The best part: I didn’t have to resist them into needing structure, they gradually navigated to it themselves; and I saved myself a ton of frustration letting the natural course of events take place. Cool!
Lesson 3:
Instead of insisting “I don’t have quite time to think!” I’ve noticed, I actually have quite a bit of time to think without interruptions. It just wasn’t when I thought it should be or how it should be. So I am adjusting my schedule to accommodate those times.
Lesson 4:
Instead of thinking “I don’t know how I’m going to continue to grow my business.” I started asking, “How CAN I still grow my business?” My brain has come up with several great alternatives to how I can still find time, and space, to grow my business and do coaching, even with my kids at home.
My Conclusions:
Resisting the flow of life, makes life harder! As I have accepted that life is this way for a few weeks- it’s okay. Nothing is wrong or a problem. Everything works out just the way it should. Life has a way of balancing itself out, if we’ll just trust it. AND… I am happier and so are my kids (no beast mom)! I have experience very little mom guilt, anxiety, frustration or overwhelm. I didn’t have a blow up day (like a have in the past-sorry kids), and I have enjoyed this transition so much more. I’m calling these experiments a success this year!
I am looking forward to a fantastic summer and wishing you all a wonderful summer as well.
Sharina
PS If you would like help with a transition you are going through in life, sign up for a 20-minute FREE coaching session HERE.